The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut next month from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a. . Jeff had grown so tired that he forgot what the early numbers were. He slowly pressed #1. The voice replied You have chosen 1 woman. If this is correct hit 1 if not press 0. Please press now. Okay I'll press 1. To become a blonde press123456789987654321, to become a brunette press 2 to have black hair press 3, to be a redhead press 4, to have an exotic hair color press 5, to be bald press 6. What was that number for blonde? Oh well forget it. I'd rather be a redhead anyway. You have pressed 4 redhead. If that is correct press 1 if not press 0. Okay. If you want to be 5'5 or shorter press 1, if you want to be 5'6 to 5'11 press 2 if you want to be 6 foot or taller press 3. Okay I think I'll press 2. You have hit 2 this means you want to be between 5'6 and 5'11. If this is correct yada yada yada. He knew the drill by now. The operator gave him the usual warnings and gave him the final chance to back off. He hit one and braced for the change. *BOOM* it was like a.
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